I woke up SELFISH

Happy New Year! I woke up selfish. Yes, the woman who told you to make 2014 more about Jesus than about self, woke up sinning. I know, it's a hard thing to admit, but Scripture tells us if we know what to do and don't do it, then it's sin for us. Thusly, being selfish is sinful, that's why we're told to kill self (Mink translation) .

I'll tell you again,  I woke up selfish. I whined (picture a two year old's voice) to my husband as we lay in bed, the baby between us, "Why do you do this to me?" He looked at me like I had four heads and one of them was big enough, mean enough and ugly* enough  to bite his head off. Now, I was referring to his propensity to pat, pinch and otherwise disturb our sleeping seven month-old thereby causing him to stir and then wake. That might not be a problem except it necessitates my rising to tend to him. See, I told you I woke up selfish! I considered including some oh-woe-is-me statements in here too. Like, the baby had already been up at 12:30 am and 4:00 am, but it wouldn't make me less guilty, or less in need of repentance.

Ultimately, I ended up apologizing to my husband and my King. I tell you this because it's so easy to wake up self-centered, self-absorbed and selfish. Recognizing that tendency, admitting it and striving to rectify it rather than justify it, is where the struggle begins. So perhaps we'd be better served to take  small steps towards perfection instead of hoping for immediate change wrapped up in the pretty bow of a new year and all the other decorative (yet, 
useless) resolutions that come with it.
*When the Korean ladies at the nail salon are offering you botox, nips and tucks rather than an eyebrow wax, you've earned the title, ugly!